Day 10,
I guess today might be the last time that I'm seeing her,
or even not at all.

What will happen if I see her?
Will we even say hi?
Who knows?

Gym was sure tiring, for my legs and arms.

Damn I'm still addicted to Tae Yang - Wedding Dress after so many weeks!

8th day,
I started talking to her yesterday, t
glad that everything turned our fine and there was no awkward scene.

Dear Percussionist of SJIMB,

You may not read this, but always remember even though we are no longer in band, our hearts and spirits will always exist. Our heart will always beat as one. Percussionist of SJIMB are always the best. If you are sad because of our departure, please don't. You guys need to move on, face the reality. Abandon the sorrow past and keep on moving on and improving yourself. You guys will be great percussionists one day.

Do the section and band proud and attain countless number of gold or gold with honours awards, okay?

Appointment is over,
time to move on.

My time in SJIMB was really special,
able to achieve things that we can ever imagine,
doing nonsensical stuff within ourselves.
Special ceremonials was wore for me, sash and drum cords,
those are the coolest stuff on earth man.
Times were great, but it must come to an end in it.
When there is a ending, there is always a new beginning.

I still can't forget these lines on 2nd April 2009.

Band number 59, St. Joseph's Institution, Gold with Honours.

That moment was the happiest moment in my life in SJIMB.

7th day.

I want to talk to her badly, but I don't know how to start a conversation with her.
Things have definitely changed since last year.
Anyway I was prepared,
it's not the first time.

Today is the day when my appointment is over.

After telling Melvin that I'm not joining jc bands anymore,
I've told myself to get away from percussion,
but it just doesn't seem to work.

In the morning, I was bored after playing bridge for god damn number of hours.
So I've decided to head up to the band room and see the band.
They were playing yamato and the urge of playing in a band just came to me.

What am I suppose to do now?

Less than 24 hours before I officially part with the band.
Time flies, one year since I got appointed.
New snare drums had arrived just now,
it's quite good I guess.
But I just don't have the chance to play those new snares anymore,
and I don't think I'll be touching percussion again in the future.

2nd day of band camp.
Damn I have not slept enough.
But I hope the few hours in the morning is enough for me to sleep.

Investiture practices were more challenging than expected.
I can't believe I'm still not asleep after playing mahjong for the whole dawn and managing the band camp for the whole day.

First day of SJIMB band camp was suppose to be today,
but the teachers-in-charge changed it to a day camp.
No more stay over for this camp.
Damnit.
We tried to fight for it but we failed,
useless fools.

Quitting of band scene was quite a shock to some of the people.
Yea I know it's surprising but I can't help it.
I think I'm not in a right state of mind to make any important decisions now.
I need time to recover mentally after O Levels
The exam damaged my mental health to a certain extent.

What's life without band?
Who knows.
What I can think of now it's just the loss of fame,
losing the experience to perform on stage again,
not been able to be recognised for skills and talent.
Yea I know I want to be famous,
but who does not?

Not planning to sleep tonight and play mahjong for the whole night at Tze Cin's house.
I swear it's been a long time since my mind is so relax.
I feel content,
like finally I'm leading the life that I'm suppose to lead.

5th day.
I just realised it's my problem all along.
I'm the coward who can't face her at all.

The only enemy of a person is himself.
The only way a person can be defeated is defeating himself.
Dying is when someone loses hope and faith on himself.

4th day after losing her.
Sleepless nights were some things that were definitely not enjoyable.
Although I have been experience that several times.

Sometimes I want to ignore her forever,
but there are times I wanted her to talk to me badly.

What to do?

My aim was to sprint for 10 times at least.
But I only manage to run 4 times,
after that my brain was hurting like mad.
I guess the blood rushed to my brain,
the pain was terrible.
What a loser.

I can't believe it,
it's only a short while and I couldn't take it.

A loser isn't the one who got defeated,
it is the one who can't accept defeats.
Yea, I'm one.

I can't believe I'm quitting the band scene when I liked it so much in secondary school.

When I first joined band in secondary one,
the first question was whether I can handle the stress in the future.
I replied 'yes' without consideration.

Now, when they asked me the same question,
I had to think for a few days.

After graduation night,
I realised that it is important to be rich.
People actually spent like more than 500 bucks for their entire suit,
pure madness.
If I told my parents to give me 500 bucks to spend,
they would most probably tell me that I'm not worth 500 bucks in the first place.